So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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