D3 body, D1 cock
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
