11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
