I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
