If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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