If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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