Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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