I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
