you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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