I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
