theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
