I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
