How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
