this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
