I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
