Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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