so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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