Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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