I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
