At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
