Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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