is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
