what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
