have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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