You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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