Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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