i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
