Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
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