So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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