I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
