ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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