She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This baby is an asshole
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
