bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
