Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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