GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
