What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
