Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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