You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Randomize
