worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
