Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
