Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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