Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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