I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
