I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
