I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
