I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
