I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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