marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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