# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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