I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
