like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
